Why is it that we view relationships as having an obligation? That is why they fail. We love another because we feel like we have to or should. We don’t love them because of the possibilities we can create with that relationship. In any relationship the possibilities are enormous. We can find ourselves and create who we really want to be, or we can show the other who they really are and the potential that they have to become who they really can be. Most of the time someone thinks of them self as lesser, as not as grand as they really are and the more one shows the other who they could really be the more they tend to show it. It’s not an expectation but a state of knowing who the other is. And that is why relationships fail, we view them as only obligations and can think of a relationship as having the ability to “succeed” or “fail”. This is impossible because every relationship creates something beautiful. A marriage may end in divorce or a boyfriend may break up with you but in the process one can create who they really are. They can rise above it and create who they have always wanted to be. We must stop taking relationships as a pass or fail quiz and just take them as what they are, take them as Havel. As vapor. So we must savor every moment but realize that all they are is vapor. Not meaningless but realize them for the fact that they are all passing, just as our lives are. So when you say a relationship has failed, carefully review that and realize that the only thing that has failed was that you didn’t take the opportunity to create who you really are and show the other who they have the capacity to become.